Efren Delgado | Seeing The World Counterintuitively - Former FBI Agent Explores Leadership, Fear, and Humility

Dallas Burnett: 00:00:00

Hey everybody, we're talking to Efren Delgado today.

Dallas Burnett: 00:00:02

What an amazing guy.

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He has some incredible stories working in the national security division

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as a special investigator of the FBI and the other half of the time in the

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criminal division as a special agent.

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He's a great new friend of mine.

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You don't want to miss this incredible conversation.

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Welcome, welcome, welcome.

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I am Dallas Burnett sitting in my 1905 Koch Brothers barber chair in

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Thrive Studios, but more importantly, today we have a great guest, a man

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with some fascinating stories who knows all about assessing threats.

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It's personal protection in the private sector and lucky for us

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is a new author and speaker for all things counterintuitive.

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Now, man, what does that mean?

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Welcome to the show, Efren.

Efren Delgado: 00:01:38

Thanks, Dallas.

Efren Delgado: 00:01:39

Great to be here.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:40

Oh man, I just got to start out by saying I saw your

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book cover and we'll get to that in a minute, but I just saw your book

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cover, just one of the most creative book covers I think I've seen in a

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very long time, so I look forward to.

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Look forward to discussing that more, but tell us a little

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bit about your background.

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what's your story,

Efren Delgado: 00:02:00

So, in general, I've noticed a lot of, I guess patterns in

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human behavior all of my life, since I was a little kid and growing up throughout my

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adulthood and even now in my older years.

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I'm almost 50.

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these patterns are, I think, very helpful to your audience and definitely to my

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reader where it encourages the good guys that they're stronger than the bad guys.

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And on the surface, it sounds.

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Well, counterintuitive.

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but frankly, it makes a lot of sense when you start diving into

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the principles that I discuss in my book and today on your podcast.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:35

Wow.

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Well, now as a former, person in the FBI, you would know good guys and bad guys.

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So I want to talk a little bit about before we get into your book.

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Tell us a little bit, cause the FBI , that's a cool background and just,

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I know the experiences that you had were, you had some amazing experiences.

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Let's talk about a little bit, like what inspired you to go into the FBI?

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Was it something that as a kid you just saw and, it's Oh,

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well, one day I want to do that.

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Or was it something that kind of just opened up on your

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path as you went through life?

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Tell us a little bit about that.

Efren Delgado: 00:03:06

like most little kids, you're a, you're very innocent,

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naive, by definition, just cause you're inexperienced with the world.

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And I started school, kindergarten, first grade, a year before a lot of my peers.

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So I was one year younger than the average.

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kindergartner, first grader, and it wasn't relevant until I entered second grade.

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And during those years, one year makes a big difference physically and

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cognitively and probably emotionally, too.

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I experienced a little bit of bullying from a couple bullies in second grade.

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And even though it wasn't overly intense compared to a lot of

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trauma people experience in the world, to a kid, it's all relative.

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our trauma is relevant to us because our experiences are unique.

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and the question that popped in my head as a Six, almost seven year

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old, was why would somebody be mean when they could simply be nice?

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And I start out the book this way, and if you think about it, that question

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is a child's version of psychology.

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Why do people do what they do?

Dallas Burnett: 00:04:10

Right.

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even deeper, why do bad people do what they do?

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The criminology side of psychology.

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And, I didn't have the answers then, but I definitely have

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them now, and it's a lot easier.

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They're complicated, but it's easy to understand.

Dallas Burnett: 00:04:24

that's so true.

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What an amazing question and how to frame that at six or seven.

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Like why do bad things when you could just be nice?

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I think there's a lot of, 46 and seven year olds asking

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that question to each other

Efren Delgado: 00:04:37

I think so too, yeah.

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I've got the

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it's, that's a.

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Yeah, that's under, that's wonderful.

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I look forward to jumping in some of that.

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So let's talk a little bit about, at the FBI, tell us a little bit

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about your experience at the FBI.

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You were in two separate divisions.

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Tell us what you were doing in those two places in those two main different roles.

Efren Delgado: 00:04:56

So the first half of my career, I was in

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the National Security Division.

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So that focuses on protecting The infrastructure of the United States,

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our rights and, our safety from outside, foreign enemies or other

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countries that might want to get the upper hand over our country.

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so the way I describe it to a lot of people is the central intelligence agency,

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the CIA is the offense that they're out in the world trying to gather intelligence

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from other countries to benefit the interests of the United States.

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So those countries try to do the same to us.

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But we're the defense.

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We're protecting the goal.

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And so the FBI, the site I was on is protecting our secrets, protecting

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our infrastructure, and looking for traitors or espionage, which is

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the slang for it as spies looking for, spies within our own ranks who

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are looking to betray our country.

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So we defended.

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Our national security, while the offense tries to like score goals for U.

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S.

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interests.

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Good metaphor, huh?

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:01

That's incredible.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:02

I love that.

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Yeah, that's a very good way of putting it.

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I love protecting the goal.

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That's, that makes a lot of sense and I'm very glad that you were doing it

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and you guys did such a good job and continue to do such a good job of that.

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So,

Efren Delgado: 00:06:13

That was the first half, yeah.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:15

that was the first half.

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Yeah.

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Okay.

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And then the second half, what was the second

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The second half was the more traditionally known criminal

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division, where we're upholding federal laws that all emanate from the U.

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S.

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Constitution.

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So a lot of people, don't have a clear understanding of like,

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where do these laws come from?

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But every single law, whether it's federal, state, or local,

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emanates to some degree by the U.

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S.

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Constitution.

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And it's preserving our rights.

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So as soon as your rights invade or compromise the rights of another

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person, there's got to be some kind of a legal statute to defend it.

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so it's not just about, I have the right to believe this, or the right to

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believe that, or say this or say that.

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You can't yell fire in a theater, not because it's rude, but because it

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endangers The safety of other people.

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And so that would be a good example of the fourth amendment right to

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not lose things, not have things stolen, including your life.

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So that's why death or excuse me, murder is illegal because you're

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literally stealing somebody's life.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:19

Uh,

Efren Delgado: 00:07:20

So the law, it's not a moral law.

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It's a stealing somebody's life.

Efren Delgado: 00:07:24

if you think about it on a legal sense,

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:27

yeah.

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But you see, you literally say here's my, they took that person's life.

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They took their own life that somebody took their life.

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And it's like you said, they're stealing.

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So it's a lawful thing.

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I'm all like, that's, I've never heard it put like that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:38

That's a fascinating way to think about that, but it's very true.

Efren Delgado: 00:07:42

Yeah, I try to bring these big concepts down to just human language.

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I do that in the book with these psychological concepts.

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But when I worked the criminal division, I was assigned to kind of a

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sensitive violation of civil rights.

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So that included, hate crimes, human trafficking, and color of

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law, which are essentially bad cops.

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And, once you start to work those cases, you see the real world of

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what's going on behind all the, the dramatic language of those violations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:08:13

You've mentioned human trafficking and it seems

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like such a hot topic today.

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I mean, I can't imagine you talk about seeing people operating on just why

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would you do these bad things and thinking that how do you, and this is

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just something, how do you process that?

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Because if you're investigating these things, I'm sure that you

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saw things in that environment.

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That you would prefer not to say,

Efren Delgado: 00:08:38

Yeah.

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obviously prefer not to happen.

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How do you, how did you deal with that at the FBI to see and be a part of

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trying to, obviously you feel good to try to stop it, but how do you, how

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did you work through some of that?

Dallas Burnett: 00:08:49

Right.

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to earth scenarios with business and risk and dealing with,

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maybe not the best family members or people you know in your life personally.

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And the answer is a compartmentalizing one.

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And keeping an eye on your North Star, what's your true motive, too.

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So I'll break that down.

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To compartmentalize, you have to really, separate good and bad,

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emotion and logic, what are the goals, what are the parameters, and

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just keep your eye and your mind on what your overall intention is.

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An undercover agent, for example, his goal is Discover what's going on in the

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investigation Get build evidence against the bad guy and put the bad guy in jail

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while not dying So if you're getting along if you're getting along with your criminal

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colleagues, that's great It doesn't mean you like them or it doesn't mean suddenly.

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I'm his friend I'm gonna betray my goal my North Star of capturing the

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bad guy to preserve the innocent people you Decompartmentalize the two one.

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I'm doing something for the greater goal of my long term,

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North Star of protecting people.

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And two is, even if I like this person, or I dislike this person, I have to

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do the next action that will help me to my goal, regardless of my feelings.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:25

That's awesome.

Efren Delgado: 00:10:26

the same is true in human trafficking, the same

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is true of investigating police, who, by the way, I exonerated like

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98 percent of the accusations, because frankly, most cops are good.

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And they have, they face a lot of false accusations, but when

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they're guilty, they're very guilty.

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So we look for a systemic pattern of criminal behavior that makes

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it obvious that they're guilty.

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But most of the, officers that I, I investigated were, were very

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good cops and just got accused of something they were innocent of.

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Just

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:56

Well, I think that makes everybody feel better.

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And, it just, that's really good because corruption in law

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enforcement is definitely not what you want to hear that's going on.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:04

So let's talk a little bit about, I want to jump into now a little bit about your

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book and I would love for you to start.

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And I know the audience can't see it.

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but I'd love for you to describe the cover and they can look it up on

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Amazon after the show, because this is, like I said, one of the coolest

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covers I've seen in a long time.

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So tell us about the cover, just describe it.

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And then you've got, there's some deeper, thoughts that you had around that.

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And I'd love for us to jump into your book, by talking about the cover.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:32

if you have it, you can hold it up and we'll post this on

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:35

a clip on YouTube, that'd be

Efren Delgado: 00:11:36

Yeah, let's see, so, can you see that?

Efren Delgado: 00:11:39

Yep.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:39

Yes.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:40

That's

Efren Delgado: 00:11:40

So, but I'm going to discuss this, this symbol here, which

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to describe it to your audience is it's a circular shape with a dove carrying

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an olive branch and a serpent tied to the bottom of that olive branch

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and circling back towards the bottom of the circle and trying to bite the

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tail of the dove and bring it down.

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So, I essentially got the idea from Matthew 10, 16, where God is saying, Be

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innocent as doves, but wise as serpents.

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And on the surface, that sounds like a contradiction.

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How could I be innocent as dove, but as wise as a serpent?

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And the answer is, God wants us to keep a soft heart, but not to the

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point of naivete where all the bad guys could take advantage of us.

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He wants to protect us, but he wants us to stay not hard, not

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get hardened, but stay soft.

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During the process of this.

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So this is where compartmentalizing emotion and logic come in.

Dallas Burnett: 00:12:38

mm

Efren Delgado: 00:12:39

The serpents are already hardened and they're

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looking to bring down the bad guys.

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I mean, excuse me, the good guys.

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Not because necessarily you're, well, I think you are a threat to them.

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Good guys in my view Dallas have, are stronger because they risk,

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they make themselves vulnerable, which actually makes you stronger,

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which is a counterintuitive concept.

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But when you tear muscle, when you're working out, that's how you get stronger.

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You're tearing muscle to get stronger, a counterintuitive idea.

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And yet we all can relate to it.

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The bad guys are like chihuahuas barking at the doorbell.

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They're so scared that they have to be really loud, project strength because

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they have no strength and their biggest fear is exposure of the weakness inside.

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So, ironically, they are envious of the good guys, the people in your audience

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willing to risk being leaders, being entrepreneurs, being speakers, getting up

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and speaking to the group as presenters, which is scary, but they do it anyway.

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And the bad guys respect it, but they hate you for it.

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So they will bring you down as best they can, they'll pretend to be

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friends, they'll pretend to be allies, or they'll just be overt attackers.

Efren Delgado: 00:13:58

But the point is, whether you're a bully, an antagonist, a naysayer, any of the

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negative connotations we could describe, they're coming from a place of weakness.

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And your audience, the good guys, they're coming from a place of strength.

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Even if they don't believe it, believe me, you are stronger than the bad guys.

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So that's my point of the book.

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And so the dove is symbolizing you guys rising above the

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serpents trying to pull you down.

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And you're carrying that olive branch, which is your purpose, your

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North Star, and it's a circle because sometimes you will fall on your ass.

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We all do.

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We all do.

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And that's okay.

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We, we grow from our adversity is the catalyst, the purpose,

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strength, and success.

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That's how we grow.

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And why?

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I don't want to get too ahead of myself, but we are humbled.

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And when we're humbled, you have an opportunity to embrace the wisdom

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that comes from being humbled.

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Or you could ignore it and be prideful and say screw the world and just give

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up and get in the fetal position.

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Your audience and my readers don't do that.

Efren Delgado: 00:15:04

They go

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:05

I think that's true.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:07

I love the symbolism of the cover and I just, it's such a striking cover.

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And when you first see it, you're just like, what in the world?

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:16

Now I've got to look closer at this cause there's something else going on.

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And I think that it's, it draws you in like that idea, like the idea that you

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:23

shared, because you did share something counterintuitive in the sense that there's

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:28

a, I think that people, you Struggle with attention you described it very

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eloquently in, in the sense that we want to maintain this sense of goodness.

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And yet, if you just always say yes.

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And you always are available and you always do what the other person

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wants to, and you always are just always, then you are absolutely.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:51

Going to be taken advantage of by bad people, good people, everybody, you

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:56

know, you, you know, it's like, so

Efren Delgado: 00:15:57

You'll be a doormat.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:59

yeah, you're going to be a doormat.

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And so there has to be this other side of the coin that you say, no, there's,

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there has to be some, Wisdom that says, no, they have some boundaries

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or, I can say no at this, or I'm going to make a wise decision here.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:14

Like you said, separate the emotion and logic.

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And I think that's just a really good tension.

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So we're trying to live.

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In the middle space, somewhere between the extremes.

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And I think that's hard because there's, it's not a black and white.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:30

I think people like that black and white where they just say it's this or that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:34

And a lot of times we try to create that in our life, but I think as leaders.

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There is a tension there a lot of times of, in, in that, what, when

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is it where I need to have that wisdom and when is it where I need

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to be that altruistic, gracious.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:49

Good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:49

And so that's just hard.

Efren Delgado: 00:16:51

It is hard and you said people like the black and white.

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And I believe that's true because people like to understand things.

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Because when you understand something, it's comfortable.

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But here's the danger.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:05

I think most people are addicted to comfort.

Dallas Burnett: 00:17:08

hmm.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:09

and that's really dangerous because the bad guys are

Efren Delgado: 00:17:13

aware of the things I describe.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:14

and so they want to keep people comfortable, safely comfortable.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:19

And they want to take advantage of their emotions

Dallas Burnett: 00:17:22

Wow.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:22

and their vulnerabilities.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:23

So if people are emotional, they're either ecstatically happy, scared.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:30

Nervous, craving comfort, then they can't think as well because

Efren Delgado: 00:17:34

the emotional logic don't work.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:36

So they, as long as you keep the people in an emotive state, they can't see what the

Efren Delgado: 00:17:41

bad guys are up to or the people trying to take advantage of them are up to.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:45

So they try to keep churning that storm so the sun never comes out, where

Efren Delgado: 00:17:50

everything's clear and easy to understand.

Efren Delgado: 00:17:52

Again, these are all counterintuitive things, but once we take the subconscious

Efren Delgado: 00:17:57

and all these concepts into our conscious workspace, Then we can manage it.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:02

And to simplify things, I think, I think the company is Think, Move,

Efren Delgado: 00:18:07

Thrive that you guys are pushing.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:09

So I love the first one, thinking, because that is the antidote to oppression.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:15

If you can think, they can't take advantage of you.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:18

Even if you're wrong, you're thinking, you're trying to

Efren Delgado: 00:18:21

assess and trying to judge.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:24

What's the thing that everybody says?

Efren Delgado: 00:18:25

Oh, don't judge.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:27

Why do they say that?

Efren Delgado: 00:18:28

Because they want you emoting, not thinking, and they want you fearing

Efren Delgado: 00:18:34

that you'll be called racist.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:35

They want you fearing that you'll be called closed minded,

Efren Delgado: 00:18:39

and the opposite is true.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:40

The thinkers are actually being open minded.

Dallas Burnett: 00:18:43

Right.

Dallas Burnett: 00:18:44

Exactly.

Dallas Burnett: 00:18:45

Yeah,

Efren Delgado: 00:18:45

I titled the book, The Opposite is True, because there's

Efren Delgado: 00:18:48

so many examples of the reality of things, the truth of things.

Efren Delgado: 00:18:52

Or actually flip on the other end when you, when you actually

Efren Delgado: 00:18:56

stop and contemplate them.

Dallas Burnett: 00:18:58

and I think it's so powerful that someone who

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:01

has seen in your shoes has been in the FBI and you have seen.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:06

The bad guys face to face at the worst of the worst.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:10

And you described some of the things that you worked on.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:13

it's true and you've seen it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:14

And then this is what you're coming back to everyone and saying, this is, I've gone

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:19

to that side and I've spent time in it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:23

I've reviewed it and here's what I'm come to tell you.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:26

And so that's just, I think that's so powerful.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:29

I think it should be very encouraging for people, especially for people who.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:34

feel like they don't have a voice or are afraid to use it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:37

maybe people who feel like they can only be good and they've ended

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:41

up being a doormat and that they need some balance in their life.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:44

I think that's all very good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:46

If people, I loved how you put that so many people are addicted to comfort.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:51

And I think.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:53

It's easy for leaders to, and I think if you're listening to the last 10%,

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:57

that idea is something that we can just think a lot about in, in your own life.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:02

What are areas that you feel like you may be just addicted to comfort?

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:07

What are areas in your leadership, toolkit or your day, your work

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:11

that you may be not focusing on.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:14

That the reason that you're not looking under that rock or opening

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:17

that closet or cleaning out that or doing what you need to do is because

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:21

it might be a little bit painful and you just, you're addicted to comfort.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:24

Let's just be honest.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:25

And so I think one of the things that hold people back is fear, fear of moving and

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:30

fear of moving into that uncomfortableness if they are addicted to comfort.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:35

Now you talk in your book, I think about some techniques.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:39

around overcoming fear.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:40

what advice would you give to listeners that are addicted to comfort and

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:43

they're a little bit afraid to move into that sphere of uncomfortableness?

Efren Delgado: 00:20:48

Absolutely.

Efren Delgado: 00:20:49

And there's kind of two parts to that question.

Efren Delgado: 00:20:52

One is dealing with comfort and the other is dealing with fear

Efren Delgado: 00:20:56

and the comfort one, it's natural.

Efren Delgado: 00:20:59

I love comfort.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:00

Everybody loves comfort.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:01

There's nothing better than a nice plate of comfort food, a movie and just gorging.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:08

that's my happy place.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:09

but I could only eat so much pie and so many cheeseburgers.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:13

Before you start regretting it, you know

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:16

That's right.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:17

So, I think it's just first of all Forgive yourself for

Efren Delgado: 00:21:21

being a human being and loving comfort because we all do but just realize

Efren Delgado: 00:21:25

that complacency hold holds us back We all need to keep in mind our north

Efren Delgado: 00:21:30

star our purpose even as it evolves because it's not the same throughout

Efren Delgado: 00:21:34

our lives We have different phases.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:36

So keep our long term goals and then chop them up and part of I guess resisting

Efren Delgado: 00:21:42

complacency and comfort to a healthy degree, because it's okay to take breaks

Efren Delgado: 00:21:46

and all that, of course, is simply acknowledging that, you will never get

Efren Delgado: 00:21:52

anywhere unless you're working for it.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:54

Unless you're ripping muscle, you won't get stronger.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:56

Unless you're climbing the mountain, you won't reach the summit.

Efren Delgado: 00:21:59

So, challenge yourself, stretch your comfort zone, but you

Efren Delgado: 00:22:03

don't have to rip it apart.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:05

You just stretch and make progress, and progress is good enough.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:08

And just don't fool yourself.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:11

One interesting quote that I often bring up is Plato said no one is more hated

Efren Delgado: 00:22:16

than he who speaks the truth Because the truth is often uncomfortable So if you're

Efren Delgado: 00:22:22

not striving for your North Star and you love comfort and complacency Then people

Efren Delgado: 00:22:28

will hate you when you're bringing up truth because it's cognitive dissonance.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:32

It's like a cattle prod in their side They don't want to know the truth.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:37

They don't want to hear you preach about facts.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:40

They want to be under that warm, fuzzy blanket.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:43

And you could take a horse to water, but you can't make a drink.

Dallas Burnett: 00:22:46

Hmm.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:48

But for your audience, for my reader, people

Efren Delgado: 00:22:51

want to live beyond mediocrity and not just be stagnant in existence.

Efren Delgado: 00:22:57

We embrace the uncomfortable.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:00

We embrace new things.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:01

We are embracing new ideas because we want to innovate.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:04

We want to win.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:06

And we want to help our families and our societies.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:08

We want to go for it because carpe diem.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:11

We're going to die.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:12

We might as well live first.

Dallas Burnett: 00:23:14

Yeah.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:15

this is kind of the comfort part of your question, and it

Efren Delgado: 00:23:19

goes with fear, and my theory is When you think of snakes, it's scary, right?

Efren Delgado: 00:23:27

Snakes are pretty scary.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:28

Poisonous snakes are scary.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:29

They scare me.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:30

When you think of sharks, they're scary, right?

Efren Delgado: 00:23:33

Standard, standard scary things.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:35

Sharks, snakes, public speaking.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:38

People say public speaking is one of the scariest things, even more than death.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:41

I've heard that.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:43

I don't know the stats, but all these things.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:45

and so here's an interesting idea.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:47

Who's the least afraid of snakes?

Efren Delgado: 00:23:50

And I would say like snake charmers.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:52

they're literally working with them every day.

Efren Delgado: 00:23:55

Who's least afraid of sharks?

Efren Delgado: 00:23:57

Surfers, they're swimming with sharks every day.

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:00

That's

Efren Delgado: 00:24:01

And who's least afraid of public speaking?

Efren Delgado: 00:24:03

Public speakers.

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:05

Public

Efren Delgado: 00:24:05

Because they're doing it all the time.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:07

So the answer, the pattern there, actually snake charmers are in the most

Efren Delgado: 00:24:12

danger of snakes because they're around them all the time and they get bit.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:15

Surfers are in the most danger because they're around them all

Efren Delgado: 00:24:17

the time and sometimes the sharks are hungry and mistake them for a

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:22

Yeah.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:23

And the public speakers, God forbid you make a mistake,

Efren Delgado: 00:24:26

but you're going to keep going.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:27

But one of the prerequisites to success is failure anyway, so they keep going.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:32

So despite all those actual dangers, they understand snakes, they

Efren Delgado: 00:24:38

understand sharks, and they understand public speaking, respectively.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:41

And you could go on with the examples.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:42

So I say, people don't fear those things, they fear the unknown.

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:47

Mm.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:48

So the answer is, make the unknown known.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:51

And the way you do that is education, exposure, and repeat.

Efren Delgado: 00:24:59

Learn about what you're scared of, experience what

Efren Delgado: 00:25:02

you're scared of, and repeat.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:05

When I was young, I was afraid of heights, so I started jumping off the bed.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:09

Then I got over it.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:11

Then I started jumping off my fence in the backyard.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:14

I got over it.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:14

Then I jumped off the roof.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:15

Then I stopped there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:17

Yeah, that's probably why I was

Efren Delgado: 00:25:18

Yeah.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:20

But at the end of the day, I'm not afraid of heights anymore.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:24

fear is healthy to some degree, but I'm talking about unreasonable

Efren Delgado: 00:25:28

fears or some level of phobias.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:30

And your audience probably has some fears they could easily get

Efren Delgado: 00:25:33

over if they jump off the bed.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:35

Exposed themselves a little bit to it and learned that those fears may not

Efren Delgado: 00:25:40

be as dangerous as they might believe.

Efren Delgado: 00:25:43

within reason.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:44

yeah, I think that's fantastic advice, man.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:46

You just dropped so many things right there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:48

I just, when I think through it as a leader.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:51

The point that you just made about making the unknown known,

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:56

man, I love the way you put that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:58

And I love the analogy that you made with all the snakes and

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:01

the sharks and public speaking.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:03

It's so true.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:04

If you're a leader, sometimes you feel.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:07

if, in leadership is very exposing.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:09

So people are watching you, they've got their eyes on you, whether you're

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:13

doing a good job or whether you're doing a bad job, they're going to

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:15

see it pointed out and you just feel sometimes you feel very exposed.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:18

And so sometimes it does feel like if I make the wrong decision or

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:22

if I do this and it doesn't go well, then, oh man, I'm in trouble.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:26

And so it's not, you're not.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:27

You may not have the, may not have the confidence that you need in certain areas.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:31

Now you may be a technical expert.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:33

That's not what we're talking about.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:34

That's what you're good at.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:35

You already know that, but maybe you're not good managing or coaching in, conflict

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:40

or having difficult conversations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:42

that's the place that you've got to be intentional about engaging.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:44

I love how you talked about, progress is progress.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:47

Like we're not saying that you have to climb the mountain in, on the first try.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:52

it's that you take the next step and that's, that's the

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:55

point, So I just, I love that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:57

I love that analogy because it, it gives people something that they can latch on

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:02

to, to say, Hey, look, if you're moving into a place of uncomfortability, that is.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:07

That's a good thing that is living in the last 10 percent

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:10

people that live in the last 10%.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:12

If you're going to surf in the last 10%, you're going to surf beside sharks.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:16

It doesn't matter.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:17

It has to be, you cannot surf without sharks and be the top

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:21

10 percent surfer in the world.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:23

It's just not going to happen.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:24

And so I just love that because that's a picture of what we're trying to do.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:28

And you're sharing some real wisdom there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:29

Now.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:30

I want to get into a little bit more in the book too, because there's,

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:33

you've got some great examples.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:34

then we're going to get some cool stories.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:35

Cause you have just especially one that, that, we talked about before the

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:38

show this audience is going to love.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:40

but before we get to the story, I want to talk a little bit about another

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:44

example of a counterintuitive point.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:46

and that is really the power of humility.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:50

You have this chapter 16 in your book.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:52

Let's talk about, let's talk about some of the truth in chapter 16.

Efren Delgado: 00:27:56

Sure.

Efren Delgado: 00:27:57

Chapter 16's title is, A Power is a Natural Corrupter.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:01

But then I throw in parentheses, Unless You Insert Humility.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:05

And if you think about it, there's many forms of power.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:08

You could have power of authority, good looks, money, a badge, a gun.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:14

You could even be elected HOA president and there's a form of power there.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:18

Whatever the case may be, and to whatever degree, I think there's a direct

Efren Delgado: 00:28:22

correlation with the more power you have, the more human tendency you have to be

Efren Delgado: 00:28:27

corrupted by that power, so it's ironic.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:30

So, the, the counterintuitive truth here is that if you insert

Efren Delgado: 00:28:35

humility, that's the only antidote to not be corrupted by power.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:40

And if you don't, you will be corrupted by it.

Efren Delgado: 00:28:42

And if your audience just pauses and thinks about any example of power in

Efren Delgado: 00:28:48

their life, in their circles, And the people who are humble versus the people

Efren Delgado: 00:28:52

who are not, they will automatically, right now they're sighing because

Efren Delgado: 00:28:56

they're like, Oh yeah, that's why Johnny does this or Susie does that.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:01

It's because the humble people have the enough strength to make

Efren Delgado: 00:29:05

themselves vulnerable and embrace being humble and think about

Efren Delgado: 00:29:08

others and not about themselves.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:10

And the opposite is true.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:12

Those who are prideful, I know it all, they're actually chihuahuas

Efren Delgado: 00:29:16

barking at the doorbell, trying to hide their insecurities, their

Efren Delgado: 00:29:20

weaknesses, so that nobody can see them.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:23

So they double down on the rudeness.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:24

They double down on the micromanaging.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:26

They double down on the, why did you make the chicken dinner this way?

Efren Delgado: 00:29:30

The little criticisms.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:32

At the Christmas dinner.

Dallas Burnett: 00:29:34

Yeah.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:35

all levels.

Efren Delgado: 00:29:35

It's not all Hitler and Mother Teresa stuff This is just real world dynamics

Efren Delgado: 00:29:40

in our own families our circles of friends and our in our offices.

Dallas Burnett: 00:29:44

I think that's a fantastic point.

Dallas Burnett: 00:29:46

And I think that I love how you brought it down to even Christmas dinner

Dallas Burnett: 00:29:53

conversations, because I think that's a challenge to all the listeners.

Dallas Burnett: 00:29:57

If you find yourself exerting that Chihuahua syndrome, where you're

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:02

really jumping on people and exerting some type of power, whether it's

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:06

real or just your personality, what is it that you are, Really afraid

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:12

of what are you trying to cover up?

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:13

what is it there that's causing it underneath that, that lack of

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:16

humility or vulnerability that you're trying to protect, I think that's

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:19

a great question that we all can think through on that because it's

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:22

definitely going to be something that holds you back from achieving.

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:27

The potential of influence, that you say that you could achieve instead of

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:32

this pseudo influence that you just have barking at people, you could

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:35

have real influence with people.

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:37

I read this study recently, and I can't remember the title of the study,

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:41

but it was talking about how the leaders that generated the most trust

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:46

were very competent and very smart.

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:51

But not perfect.

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:52

And I thought that was fascinating that like, if you made a flub in your

Dallas Burnett: 00:30:57

delivery, just a little bit, or if you made a mistake, it was endearing.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:02

But if you were perfect on everything to the nth degree, then it was actually,

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:07

you were actually seeing less favorable.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:10

And I just think as a human, it's fascinating because that goes to me.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:13

It goes to what you're saying is that even as humans were wired to see through,

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:18

Just see through some of the bull.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:20

It's like, no, that's just not, that's not real.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:22

That's nobody's perfect.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:24

So I like the authenticity, you know?

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:26

And, and so I think people are wired for that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:29

And I think if, when you are talking about humility to me, it's saying as a

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:34

leader, we have a real, a real obligation if we're going to lead effectively for

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:39

the longterm and we are given power.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:42

then the way we can do that is introducing humility.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:45

And I love the intentionality that you said we, we have to, because if

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:48

we don't, we're corrupted, how did you, how have you seen that play out?

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:50

Cause I know you've seen this play out in your career.

Efren Delgado: 00:31:53

Well that that's a great point that you make because It also

Efren Delgado: 00:31:58

encourages your audience, leaders, entrepreneurs, people just going forward

Efren Delgado: 00:32:03

and influencing others that it's not only okay to make mistakes, but they don't

Efren Delgado: 00:32:08

have to hide their mistakes that they're, they are enduring in my favorite trade.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:12

And I, I claim it's most people's favorite trait, whether they realize

Efren Delgado: 00:32:16

it or not, it's just authenticity and your fellow human being.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:19

Somebody who's genuine.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:21

Because the opposite is just exhausting.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:24

Somebody always performing or manipulating or trying to hide their inner self.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:28

It's not that they have to expose all their inner secrets, but

Efren Delgado: 00:32:33

just be real with people and other people will appreciate it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:37

Right.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:37

I agree.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:39

And so the way I've seen this played out in general is,

Efren Delgado: 00:32:42

it's not just in my personal life, but also just in life in general.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:46

Marcus Aurelius was somebody I quote in my book a lot.

Efren Delgado: 00:32:50

He was literally the emperor of Rome, the most powerful guy on the

Efren Delgado: 00:32:54

planet, and he said something to the effect of, it is possible to

Efren Delgado: 00:32:58

live a good life even in a palace.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:02

Oh

Efren Delgado: 00:33:03

And so what's interesting is obviously it's counterintuitive.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:06

Oh, you've got a palace, you're the most powerful guy?

Efren Delgado: 00:33:08

Of course the world's awesome.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:10

But all the other emperors were corrupted.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:12

They have Nero, Constantine, all of those guys were corrupted because

Efren Delgado: 00:33:18

it's really hard not to have so much power and not give in to it.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:22

King Solomon had, even to his own regret, had all these concubines

Efren Delgado: 00:33:26

and wives and he regretted it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:29

Yes.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:30

It wasn't until he humbled himself and realizing,

Efren Delgado: 00:33:33

you know, I mean, he probably realized all along, but he's human,

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:37

Mm hmm.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:38

that where the wisdom came back, he had the wisdom before

Efren Delgado: 00:33:41

became corrupted and he embraced.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:44

So there's hope there.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:45

When we screw up, you could always go back.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:48

You don't have to beat yourself up.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:50

Humble yourself is also forgiving yourself.

Efren Delgado: 00:33:53

You could turn the ship 180 degrees, so just encourage your audience also to go

Efren Delgado: 00:33:58

for it, and also don't live, the rearview mirror is small, Dave Ramsey says this,

Efren Delgado: 00:34:03

the rearview mirror is small for a reason.

Efren Delgado: 00:34:05

So the windshield is big, but the rearview mirror is small,

Efren Delgado: 00:34:08

so just go, keep going forward.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:11

Oh, that's good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:12

That's good advice.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:13

That's really good advice.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:14

It's encouraging too, especially if you've felt like you've made some mistakes

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:19

and maybe you can, and everybody's a work in progress on the humility side.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:22

So regardless of what stage of your career you're in or what leadership

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:27

position you're in, I think that's, that's just a great word.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:30

I want to change gears a little bit, and I want you to tell a story that we were

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:36

talking about before the show started.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:38

And that was, you transitioned out of the FBI and you went into the private,

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:44

protection, personal protection space and security and all that stuff.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:48

and that's where you've been for a while and you had this.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:53

You've had a lot of stories, but this one in particular was just amazing.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:56

I thought to get, so tell us about one of the experiences that you were

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:59

sharing before the show about this new, new space that you had entered into,

Efren Delgado: 00:35:04

Yeah.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:04

So I had a client and of course we have, we can expose our clients usually

Efren Delgado: 00:35:09

cause we have NDAs, that sort of thing.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:11

But I had a fancy A list type of client.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:14

I'm in the Los Angeles area and he was invited to, he was attending

Efren Delgado: 00:35:19

a party at another A lister, which I'll tell your audience in a bit.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:24

So I was getting, you know, earlier in the party, I was getting familiar with

Efren Delgado: 00:35:29

the location of this beautiful home.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:32

And just like we always do, we, they call it advancing, but you don't always

Efren Delgado: 00:35:35

have a full time to do a thorough advance, but you do what you can.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:39

Assess, adapt, overcome, one of my mantras in the book.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:42

So I got, was getting the lay of the land, staying out of the way

Efren Delgado: 00:35:45

of, my client and his guests.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:48

And all of a sudden, I'm in, alone in a certain area where there's like

Efren Delgado: 00:35:53

cameras with another security guy.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:54

The other security guy had left to do rounds or something.

Efren Delgado: 00:35:58

And Elon Musk enters, the host of the party enters this space where I'm

Efren Delgado: 00:36:04

trying to stay out of the way and asks me, Hey, is there a fire extinguisher?

Efren Delgado: 00:36:09

And I asked him quickly, first of all I'm a fan of Elon Musk

Efren Delgado: 00:36:12

so I was taking it back a bit.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:15

And then I asked, well, is there a fire?

Efren Delgado: 00:36:20

And as, as I'm realizing, it just through the half second facial

Efren Delgado: 00:36:24

expression that yes, there's a fire, I grabbed the fire extinguisher and

Efren Delgado: 00:36:28

as he's, barking directions to where it's at, I'm running out of the space.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:33

Upstairs, as he's telling me, it's in one of the bedrooms upstairs.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:37

And I'm running up there and the bed is completely engulfed in flames.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:41

I'm not sure how it

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:42

Oh my

Efren Delgado: 00:36:43

but one of the guests must have tipped over a candle or

Efren Delgado: 00:36:46

God knows what, a cigarette, but the bed was completely inflamed.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:50

I put out the fire.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:51

Quickly because I know fire is not only dangerous, but it goes up very quickly

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:57

Right.

Efren Delgado: 00:36:58

my priority was not people's feelings or comforts or whatever.

Efren Delgado: 00:37:01

It was just getting this fire extinguished ASAP So the bed was

Efren Delgado: 00:37:06

completely inflamed which the room could have gone quickly after that,

Efren Delgado: 00:37:09

but knock that out He was happy.

Efren Delgado: 00:37:13

Of course, he has to replace that bed, but yeah, at the end of the

Efren Delgado: 00:37:16

day, all the guests were fine, and my, more importantly, my client,

Efren Delgado: 00:37:20

and all the guests at the party were safe, that was the fun part.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:25

day.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:25

Now, did they keep going with the party after that?

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:28

Was it just Oh, that was fine.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:29

A minute.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:29

Let's

Efren Delgado: 00:37:29

it was kind of winding down anyway, but, But everybody had a

Efren Delgado: 00:37:33

good humor about it, nobody panicked, and Yeah, it was fine, the home was fine.

Efren Delgado: 00:37:37

They probably had to not only replace the bed, but maybe, I don't

Efren Delgado: 00:37:40

even remember if there was carpet in that room, I'm sure there was.

Efren Delgado: 00:37:44

but the room was fine, the home was fine, and uh, I'm sure Elon Musk

Efren Delgado: 00:37:48

was grateful, even though I didn't have a chat with him afterwards.

Efren Delgado: 00:37:52

But my client was happy, so that's good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:54

That's awesome.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:55

That's a great story.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:56

So you saved the party and, and Elon Musk and, all that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:00

That's hilarious.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:00

That was great.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:01

Well, tell us about, I mean, how hard was that transition what are the aspects

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:05

that you really liked about that?

Efren Delgado: 00:38:07

Yeah, since I was a kid, with the bullying experience, I

Efren Delgado: 00:38:10

grew a deep empathy for just people who are mistreated and, including

Efren Delgado: 00:38:16

the bullies who I now know, bullies, tyrants, antagonists of all kinds.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:22

Their chihuahuas barking at the doorbell because they're

Efren Delgado: 00:38:24

fearful and have weaknesses.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:26

so I empathize with even the bad guys.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:29

But not to the extent of not protecting the good guys.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:33

So the, what my view is, once you're an adult, no matter what your background is

Efren Delgado: 00:38:38

or the trauma you've been through, you have, you don't have an excuse to hurt

Efren Delgado: 00:38:41

other people that's never excusable.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:44

Right.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:45

So you just have, that's the adulting part, regardless of your

Efren Delgado: 00:38:48

background, you have a responsibility to be a good guy, whether you like it or not.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:51

and if you're not, then that in itself is a choice which makes you culpable.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:56

So you have to face the consequences.

Efren Delgado: 00:38:58

and that could be as severe as lethal force when somebody's endangering the

Efren Delgado: 00:39:02

life of somebody else or seriously injuring them, then to preserve that

Efren Delgado: 00:39:07

life and that safety of that person.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:09

That's why lethal force exists into a much smaller scale.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:13

If you're hurting somebody's career because you keep backstabbing

Efren Delgado: 00:39:16

them or trying to pull them off their wall of progress.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:20

Then you deserve to be exposed.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:22

Unfortunately, a lot of the bad guys get away with things on, on, on those levels.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:27

But at least, at least you could sleep well at night that

Efren Delgado: 00:39:31

you're not one of those people.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:33

so I was wanted to protect the good people from the bad so I did that in childhood

Efren Delgado: 00:39:39

and it evolved in the fbi's national security division with the, protecting

Efren Delgado: 00:39:44

our national security, and it evolved into the second realm of the criminal

Efren Delgado: 00:39:48

division, protecting people against crime.

Efren Delgado: 00:39:51

And then the trifecta of protecting people was the private sector, which is

Efren Delgado: 00:39:56

protecting people as a threat assessment consultant or physically as a bodyguard.

Efren Delgado: 00:40:01

Those kind of go hand in hand.

Efren Delgado: 00:40:03

So even though I'm moving into the fourth chapter of my

Efren Delgado: 00:40:08

life of Speaking and writing.

Efren Delgado: 00:40:11

I think the point is the same where I'm still protecting people But

Efren Delgado: 00:40:14

this time I'm trying to help I'm trying to teach them how to fish

Efren Delgado: 00:40:18

so they could fish for themselves

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:20

Right.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:20

No, I think that's great.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:22

I love that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:23

I would love to talk a little bit about too, you've gone through these

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:26

career stages and transitions and you mentioned they are, there's a

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:30

connection to all of these pieces.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:33

If someone is going through their career, as you get into.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:37

The last 10%, it's very few things in life are a straight line.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:41

And so understanding how to navigate that and being very good at navigating

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:46

those transitions in life is really important and it's very challenging.

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:51

And as it relates to career transitions and moving from these different

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:55

stages, what advice would you give to people going through these things?

Dallas Burnett: 00:40:59

And it could be related to your book and counterintuitive or just your experience.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:03

Yeah, fortunately for me is they go hand in hand So I was

Efren Delgado: 00:41:08

pretty blunt in my book of everything.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:10

I said in there I, I truly believe with all my mind and my heart.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:15

I really didn't hold back, and part of that is, I think to some extent,

Efren Delgado: 00:41:20

we all have a purpose, a North Star, a calling, and to accomplish those

Efren Delgado: 00:41:26

big mountain climbs all the way up to the summit, you have to chop them up.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:32

And one, one story I gave in the book, in a chapter where I'm talking about

Efren Delgado: 00:41:36

Abraham Lincoln who had to deal with a lot of adversity is he said when he was

Efren Delgado: 00:41:40

dealing with the point of Reconstruction after abolishing slavery, he was trying

Efren Delgado: 00:41:44

to put the country back together again.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:47

And it was overwhelming because the South had a lot of hostility.

Efren Delgado: 00:41:53

Because you're pretty much stopping this, money bank of having free labor.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:00

And people get drunk with this power because it's an emotion.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:05

And they get entitled with this power because it's an emotion.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:08

And they convince themselves that, black Americans were subhuman, which

Efren Delgado: 00:42:13

is a prerequisite to enslave somebody.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:15

You have to literally believe that.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:18

that's emotion and logic not mixing.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:21

So that's yet another example.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:23

But, he said that he copied what sailors on these foggy rivers do.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:30

And they say sail from point to point.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:33

As far as your eye can see, only sail to that point.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:37

So that's the chopped up small goal that makes up the big goals.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:41

So he said sail point to point, so I'm encouraging my reader and your

Efren Delgado: 00:42:45

audience, just sail to the next point.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:48

And then once you reach there, keep an eye on where that North Star is, and then

Efren Delgado: 00:42:52

sail to the next point that you can see.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:54

And keep going, zigzag if you have to, navigate.

Efren Delgado: 00:42:58

take shorter ones, longer ones, whatever you have to do, but

Efren Delgado: 00:43:00

chop it up and do what you can.

Efren Delgado: 00:43:03

let go of what you don't have control over and embrace what you do have control over.

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:08

think that's great advice.

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:09

You've made several comments about people having purpose and that North star.

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:14

how do you, how have you.

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:16

how have you discovered that in your life?

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:21

what did you have a time where you were like, this is it?

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:24

Or has it been kind of a progressive elaboration where this gotten

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:27

clearer and clearer as you've gone?

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:29

and I don't know what's your thoughts on that?

Dallas Burnett: 00:43:32

Finding that purpose.

Efren Delgado: 00:43:33

I think, it's pretty plain to see, but I might be biased because as a

Efren Delgado: 00:43:37

flawed Christian, which is how I describe myself, I'm a sinner like everybody.

Efren Delgado: 00:43:42

But as a flawed Christian, I truly believe that God's design is us as a church, which

Efren Delgado: 00:43:50

Maybe some of your secular audience and my secular readers might picture a building

Efren Delgado: 00:43:55

structure with a steeple but when I talk about the church i'm talking about the

Efren Delgado: 00:43:58

body of christ, which is his followers.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:01

So Dallas has certain talents.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:04

I couldn't host a podcast and interview people the way you do so good on you

Efren Delgado: 00:44:08

on that But I also can't sing and dance or play basketball, but I do understand

Efren Delgado: 00:44:13

human behavior and I don't think that came out of me being a an amazing

Efren Delgado: 00:44:20

person, but God given talents that I'm accepting as a gift to understand these

Efren Delgado: 00:44:25

human behavior dynamics so that I could explain it to his flock, to his children.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:31

That's how I view it.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:33

So every human has their own God given talents, whether they acknowledge them

Efren Delgado: 00:44:39

or not is the free will, their choice.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:42

But I'm encouraging your audience and my reader, pay attention,

Efren Delgado: 00:44:45

self reflect to what you're good at and what you're not good at.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:49

Be who you are, don't try to be something else, and you will discover, if you

Efren Delgado: 00:44:53

haven't already, what your purpose is.

Efren Delgado: 00:44:56

And that purpose, it's probably not selfish, it's probably

Efren Delgado: 00:45:02

selfless, which is another counterintuitive truth to happiness.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:06

Seeking happiness will make you miserable.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:08

Seeking humility, wisdom, fulfillment, meaning.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:14

Meaning is the secret to happiness and that comes from selflessness.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:18

So I say in the book, there are selfish benefits to living a selfless life.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:23

Life and that is happiness.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:29

That is a great counterintuitive.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:30

There's

Efren Delgado: 00:45:31

Yeah, it's all counterintuitive

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:32

selfless.

Efren Delgado: 00:45:35

But isn't that wonderful?

Efren Delgado: 00:45:36

It's fun.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:40

I've never heard that before.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:42

That's very clever.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:43

Oh, that's very good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:44

And I think that's very.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:47

And you've made a comment there that I thought was fascinating.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:50

You said that you had gifts that you accepted, and I think that is awesome.

Dallas Burnett: 00:45:57

I think that's such a, that's an also, it's something overlooked.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:01

if not, I think there's so many people that just haven't

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:04

accepted their own gifts.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:06

Maybe they're looking and hoping for someone else's, I don't know.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:09

There's probably a thousand reasons why, but I love the

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:13

point about being reflective.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:14

And we talk about in, in our book lift, we talk about one of the routines is you

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:19

have to have a routine of reflection.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:22

You should have times that set aside where you actually just sit

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:26

and think and reflect and process.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:29

And, I think those are the kinds of things that you need to be processing is.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:32

are there some gifts that you just haven't accepted?

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:34

You just need to embrace who you are and how you're made and the gifts

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:38

that you have and let's roll, and be selfish with your selflessness.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:42

Living, living selflessly.

Dallas Burnett: 00:46:47

That I just, I love that.

Efren Delgado: 00:46:55

and everybody knows that but it's often inconvenient

Efren Delgado: 00:47:00

until you start doing it.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:02

So that's, there's the rub, you have to humble yourself a little

Efren Delgado: 00:47:05

bit and you have to forgive yourself and others a little bit.

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:10

Yes, this has just been a fantastic time.

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:12

I just, I've just enjoyed your, I've enjoyed the conversation immensely.

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:17

And we always like to close out the show by asking the guests, who they

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:21

would like to hear on the last 10%.

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:23

So if you had anybody, it could be anybody, but who is someone that you

Dallas Burnett: 00:47:28

would like to see or hear on the last 10%?

Efren Delgado: 00:47:30

that's a great question.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:32

And my intention was to give this guy a call before, and

Efren Delgado: 00:47:35

we kept playing phone tag.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:37

But I'm going to go ahead and throw his name out here.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:40

he's a buddy of mine named Ben Wolf.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:42

So he has a book in him and he hasn't written it yet, but he's working on it.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:47

And, he doesn't know I'm talking about him right now, but his book, if he ever gets

Efren Delgado: 00:47:51

around to writing it would be amazing.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:53

I'll keep you guys in touch, but he's lived a full life.

Efren Delgado: 00:47:56

I met him when I was, chasing spies and terrorists in the national

Efren Delgado: 00:47:59

security division in Washington, DC, but he went on to join the state

Efren Delgado: 00:48:03

department's diplomatic security service.

Efren Delgado: 00:48:05

And, he's just a great friend and a great patriot, and I think he would be fun

Efren Delgado: 00:48:09

to interview one day when he's ready.

Efren Delgado: 00:48:12

But I'll keep you, I'll keep you in mind, when I do finally

Efren Delgado: 00:48:15

have that conversation with him.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:17

Yeah, that'd be awesome.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:18

That sounds like it would be a fun conversation with Ben.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:21

I'm sure he'd have a lot to share with our listeners.

Efren Delgado: 00:48:23

He's in my book, too.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:25

Oh, cool.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:25

All right.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:26

then

Efren Delgado: 00:48:26

in there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:27

a little story in there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:28

Okay.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:28

So I'm sure you've got some other stories that actually, I know

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:31

you do, cause we talked about it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:32

So if you're listening to the last 10 percent and you like the story

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:35

about the bed catching on fire, and you like the hearing about

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:39

the FBI and all these things.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:41

Efren has a ton of those stories in his book, and he shares a lot of

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:45

that as, as he does with wisdom that he's laid out great on the show.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:50

So how can people get in touch with you if they, you're doing a lot of

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:55

speaking now related to your book and you're doing all kinds of other stuff.

Dallas Burnett: 00:48:58

What, how can people find you?

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:00

How can they connect with

Efren Delgado: 00:49:02

Probably the simplest way, I'm on Amazon and the book's

Efren Delgado: 00:49:04

on Amazon, but the simplest way is probably just going to my website.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:07

I have a little spiel about the book, a little spiel about myself, and then

Efren Delgado: 00:49:11

some, If you're interested in the book, you could just click a quick to buy.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:15

And the website's Efren, E F R E N Delgado.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:19

com.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:20

Efren Delgado.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:22

com.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:22

That's fantastic.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:24

Okay.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:24

We will put that in.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:26

To the show notes in case you're driving and need to reference this

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:30

later, but, Efren, it has just been a fascinating time with you . I've

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:34

enjoyed every minute of it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:36

And I just thank you for being a part of the last 10 percent and sharing

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:39

your wisdom with our listeners.

Dallas Burnett: 00:49:40

So thank you for being on the show.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:42

Thanks a lot, Dallas.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:42

It was fun.

Efren Delgado: 00:49:43

Appreciate it.