Danielle Burnett | PEAK Parenting - Family Values and the Power of Reminders

Dallas Burnett: 00:00:00

Hey everybody, we have a great show today.

Dallas Burnett: 00:00:02

Me and Danielle are back and we're having a wonderful conversation about the book

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Lift, but it's not about business teams.

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It's about something even more personal.

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It's about the family team and how you can apply some of the

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concepts from Lift to your family.

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You definitely don't want to miss this incredible conversation.

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Welcome, welcome, welcome.

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I am Dallas Burnett sitting in my 1905 Coke Brothers barber

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chair in Thrive Studios.

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But more importantly, we have the most popular guest that we've had on the last

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10 percent in the history of the show back again by popular demand, Danielle.

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Burn it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:32

Welcome to the show.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:33

Thanks for being on the show.

Danielle Burnett: 00:01:35

Thank you so much.

Danielle Burnett: 00:01:36

Thank you.

Danielle Burnett: 00:01:37

I'm super popular, maybe by only one person, which is

Danielle Burnett: 00:01:41

maybe you, but I am very glad to

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:43

No, actually we get a lot of good reviews.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:46

We get a lot of good feedback when you're on the show.

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So we got to keep bringing you back and keep bringing you back.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:50

So that's good.

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So we've had, we've had the last few months has been kind of busy, but

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we're getting back into a groove.

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We had the leadership summit in the end of January.

Dallas Burnett: 00:01:59

You did a fantastic job leading some, in fact, I'm again, feeling a little bit, a

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:05

little bit self conscious here because, you scored the highest on facilitating the

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:10

breakout sessions of all the 12 breakout sessions that we had your breakout

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session on emotional intelligence was.

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It was rated the highest, so you got the best part.

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So kudos to you on that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:21

I feel a little self conscious, all right, whatever.

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:24

I,

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:24

bought them a Starbucks drink so they would vote

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:26

You handed out a lot of gift cards and gold stars.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:29

I know you did.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:30

Oh man.

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:32

That is just so surprising though, seriously, because

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:35

I did not know that would be a topic that would resonate so, so well.

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:38

But I'm so thankful that it did.

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:39

I knew that we,

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thought it would be important, but.

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Sometimes what you think is important doesn't necessarily resonate, but today I

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:45

feel like we have an awesome topic that's going to resonate with everybody and

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:51

I

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:51

am going to steal your job essentially today and interview you a

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:55

Okay.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:55

Yeah, absolutely.

Danielle Burnett: 00:02:57

I'm gonna Turn the

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:58

The tables are turning.

Dallas Burnett: 00:02:59

Okay.

Dallas Burnett: 00:03:00

I'm down with that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:03:01

That's good.

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:02

Yeah, so what I was thinking as we thought

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:04

about doing another show,

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:05

I was, you and I were talking about

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:08

the book lift, and it's just had such great success, not only everywhere, on

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:13

all the places you can buy books, it's had great success, but also at our retreat.

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We talked about it in breakout sessions, and it just resonated so well.

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And the idea that all teams need the structure of how to be led well and how to

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:28

run well.

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and so in that you teach people how to coach and how to

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lead and, what it looks like

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to truly be a leader through the system

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of the book Lift.

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And so we, you and I were talking about how important it is to lead

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:40

our families well, and you do such a great job of that in our home.

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And also me, homeschooling our girls and just.

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:48

All the things that we're into.

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:49

And so I thought it would be such a neat idea for me to interview you and get

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:52

your take on how Lyft, the principles in

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:55

Lyft, apply

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to leading a

Dallas Burnett: 00:03:58

yeah,

Danielle Burnett: 00:03:58

So, what are your thoughts?

Dallas Burnett: 00:04:00

think, I'll queue it up.

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how about this?

Dallas Burnett: 00:04:02

I'll queue it up by giving a little brief overview of the story.

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Cause, if anyone wants to go out and purchase lift, it's fantastic, easy

Dallas Burnett: 00:04:08

read, and I'm not going to ruin it for you, but what we'll do today is just

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queue it up, let you know the general.

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of the book.

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So you have context and then we can jump into, I think I just want to focus on one

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of the major three principles in Lyft and we'll unpack that in a little bit more

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detail today as it relates to the family.

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So ultimately way, the way this business fable starts out, Lyft is.

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Is we have this protagonist, Scott, and he is, moving through this journey in

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the book and he's having these issues at work and it's just a crazy situation that

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he finds himself in long story short.

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He meets this wise, mysterious sage and, he.

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Goes through a process of getting to know this person, that person getting to

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know him and mentoring him and sharing some really valuable insights and wisdom

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that are actionable items that he can take back with him to his, little piece

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of chaos back at his office at work and start implementing with his team.

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And so he starts to.

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Understand more about how to create, how to shape and how to strengthen culture.

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And that's really what Lyft is all about.

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:18

If you're leading a team or an organization.

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And I say that loosely because some organizations are nonprofits.

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Some are, for profit businesses.

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Some are large and small and teams could be.

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:29

the same, it could be huge teams and it can also be your family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:33

Cause I see the family as a team structure as

Danielle Burnett: 00:05:35

Mm hmm.

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:36

so yeah, so that's where the book lift runs and goes through,

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:39

but, I think one of the things that I'd like to talk a little bit about today

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:43

with you is the first thing that Scott runs headlong into meets as he meets Ray.

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:49

Ray introduces this idea of reminders and it's a very simple idea and

Dallas Burnett: 00:05:55

concept, but I think it's something that it's I feel like it's like sports.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:00

I feel like it's a lot of great teams and the great teams are the ones

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:04

that don't overlook the small things.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:06

Like they just, they get the fundamentals, And I feel like

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:08

Mm hmm.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:08

is that way with a lot of teams and organizations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:11

I feel like.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:12

It's so simple that most people just overlook it or take it for granted.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:15

and I think that especially in the family, in the context of

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:18

family, we tend to overlook it and take it for granted sometimes.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:23

so yeah, so I'd love to talk about

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:24

Mm hmm.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:25

today.

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:26

Yeah.

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:27

Well, in the book, you have an acronym, right?

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:29

That goes along with reminders for Scott to remember in the book and

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:32

then he takes it back to his office.

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So if we were going to

Danielle Burnett: 00:06:35

just run through that, can you tell everybody

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:37

Yeah.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:38

Yeah, that's great.

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:38

So whenever you're leading a team, whether it's at home or at work, you

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:41

really want to understand if you're going to remind people what are, what is it

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:45

that you're going to remind them about?

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Because this is not a reminder that's like A ding on your phone that says

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:50

the meetings in five minutes, although that is a future oriented reminding

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of sorts of before you need to be in a certain amount of time, what we're

Dallas Burnett: 00:06:57

talking about is something more future oriented about where we're going

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and how we're going to get there and then reminding ourselves why we're

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:04

doing what we're doing along the way.

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And We have a that unpacks the idea of reminders is called PEAK.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:10

That's capital P E A K.

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And so the reason we use that is, is that we want to envision

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:17

the peak of where we're going.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:18

If you're thinking about climbing a mountain and the little flag is at the

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top of the mountain, you're envisioning that peak and that is where you are headed

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and you want to remind your team of where you're going and why you're going there.

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And so what that acronym stands for is purpose.

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Expectations, accountability, and keeping it simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:40

And when we go and we think through, when we think through reminders and

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:44

we think through that idea, we think through those topics, we're really

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:47

wanting to keep those main ideas and focuses that is our reminders.

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:51

We go back and I love the idea of purpose that includes that vision and

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:56

that peak, like, why are we doing what we're doing and where are we going?

Dallas Burnett: 00:07:59

and I think as families, that's really important.

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:01

I love particularly in the book, and this is such an important

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:05

thing if you ever, if you're reading the book, or if you maybe missed this,

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:08

if you have already read it, go back to that chapter where it talks about

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:11

the purpose, because in the book, In the workplace, Scott reminds his

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:18

team of why they are working for this particular company, and so they have,

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:22

and I'm not going to spoil it, no spoiler alert, but they basically go in their

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:25

workplace and tell all these stories.

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:27

So what I love about this is You really have to think through the purpose of your

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:32

own family if you're leading your family and one way I'll just give an idea of

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:37

what you did years ago and you spent a lot of money printing it out professionally

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:42

and then framing it and then we have it

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:44

in our school room, but it was our

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:46

family's core values and what I loved about that when you did that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:51

Was because it

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:51

gave purpose to who we are

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:54

as the Burnett family.

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:55

And I know other families call them different things.

Danielle Burnett: 00:08:58

They might call them purpose statements or in some families have three

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:01

and sometimes families have five.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:02

I think we have eight.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:04

And, again, with the acronym, doesn't have to be too hard.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:08

You don't have to have 25 cause you're never going to remember them

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:10

with the cake, keeping it simple.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:11

I think it's super important.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:13

But,

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:13

that is one thing I think that established is a lot of

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:15

purpose in our family.

Danielle Burnett: 00:09:17

What do you think about that

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:18

to having this overarching like understanding of what the family

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:22

is supposed to look like and where you're wanting to go with the family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:25

if you are.

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:27

If you're going to have a lot of kids, if you can have a few kids, if you're going

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:30

to, are you more inclined to athletics or music or, academics or all the above,

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:36

or are you skilled at this craft or do you want your kids to be artisans?

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:41

I mean, there's just a lot of, and some of that's going to be, Hey,

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:45

it may be that we're just going to get to know our kids and really

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:49

understand where they're interested in.

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:51

And.

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:51

And giftings lie, and that's what we're going to pursue as a family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:09:55

So I think, I think just being open to that and understanding, like having

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:00

a clear picture, I think it's really, there was a book that we read recently.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:05

That was very interesting from a parenting standpoint.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:08

And it said, and I think this goes back to that purpose is that can

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:12

you answer the question, what do you want the relationship with your

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:15

children to look like when they're 25?

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:18

And how would you paint the picture of your family?

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:21

Cause I think if you have young kids, I think it's so easy when you have, we

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:24

had three kids, three and under at one time and like, man, when you're in the

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:28

trenches like that, it's just so hard to.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:31

Holy smokes, just survive much less have a

Danielle Burnett: 00:10:34

You're like, Whoa,

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:35

anybody has little kids like that, they're like vision.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:37

I'm just trying to get through the diaper phase here.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:39

Good grief.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:40

But I think that the idea is that what are we doing now to set us up

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:44

for having a strong relationship with our kids when they're 25, because

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:48

they're going to live more time with us at that point in time, probably.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:52

as we age and they age, then they are in the first, 15 to 20 years of their life.

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:56

So hopefully, and I think that's one of the things from a purpose

Dallas Burnett: 00:10:59

standpoint is really just keeping the end in mind from a family standpoint.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:02

And that's something that people may just not think about, what does my

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:06

family look like when my kids are 25?

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:09

And what I, what do I want it to look like and how do I want us to interact?

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:14

and, how, what's our kind of our dynamic.

Dallas Burnett: 00:11:17

So what do you think about that?

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:18

Yeah, I love it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:20

When you're starting to talk about purpose and honing in.

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:23

who your family is and who you want your family to

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:26

look like and be.

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:27

Sometimes we don't have control over how many

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:28

children we have and all that, but as you're moving towards and through each

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:34

stage of ages of parenting and all of that with your family, and even if you

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:38

don't have children, even if it's just you and your spouse, You have to think

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:41

through what are the things that we like to do, what are the things that

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:45

we aspire to do, and I think early on it reminds me of when, Dallas, you

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:49

and I have always been into music and singing and playing out and , we've been

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:53

invited to sing and play in a lot of different venues, but we wanted

Danielle Burnett: 00:11:56

early on for that to be the case and be a sense of purpose, in

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:02

our family, that music would be

Dallas Burnett: 00:12:04

Yes.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:05

in our family.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:05

And so when each girl was six, we decided we knew at that point

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:09

that they could hear pitch.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:10

They weren't tone deaf.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:12

because because in reality, sometimes you might say, oh, I want our family to

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:15

be musical and maybe that's possible.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:17

If they're tone deaf, they can play like the piano where

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:19

it didn't have to be tuned.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:20

But, I think you have to be realistic too in

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:22

guiding them to, get to that purpose or goal or

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:25

whatever you want to call it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:26

But essentially you and I set out to say, okay, we're going to start them all in the

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:30

fiddle when they're around six and a half.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:31

And so that has transpired from

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:34

six and a half with each child now to us

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:36

having a family band and we love it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:38

And we play out and we play, with other family members of all ages.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:42

And it's just almost become a language that our family speaks,

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:45

which also becomes a rhythm of our home and a rhythm of our life.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:49

So I think that gives.

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:52

A lot

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:52

of shape to what it looks like to

Dallas Burnett: 00:12:55

yeah, yeah.

Dallas Burnett: 00:12:56

And our

Danielle Burnett: 00:12:57

in our, family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:12:58

I would like to interject on that because I feel

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:00

like that with music, I think this is, goes to a broader sense when we

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:04

talk about reminding, individuals in the family of their purpose.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:09

One of the things we want to do is create kids that are.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:13

Productive members of society where we are trying to parent them in a way that when

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:18

they become adults, they're not shocked at adulting it, that they integrate well

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:23

and that they're able to be successful.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:25

And if you're going to be a productive member of society, you, your

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:28

mindset has to be, right and strong.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:31

you have to be grounded and you have to have discipline and understand the value

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:36

of hard work and these types of things.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:38

And so when you have a vision for your family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:40

we use music as a training ground almost for understanding and

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:46

building self discipline, because if you're going to be a good musician,

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:50

you have to put in the time.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:52

It's just, you really have to put in the time and practice.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:54

At the end of the day, this has been a tool that we've used.

Dallas Burnett: 00:13:57

Now you could use athletics to, to do that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:00

You could use any type of activity, work or art or any other time,

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:07

or art.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:07

can

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:08

be used.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:08

But I think that's the idea is if you're leading your family,

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:13

what is the vision that you have for your children?

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:15

And it doesn't necessarily have to be an occupational.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:17

I want them to be a doctor or a lawyer or some, entrepreneur or whatever.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:20

It's more about, what are the attributes of a person that makes them, A productive

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:28

member of society and happy and, able to handle, be strong and handle hard things.

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:33

And then how am I introducing that to them in our family to help them

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:38

grow as they grow and obviously it's different at every level of, their ages,

Dallas Burnett: 00:14:43

but yeah, I think that's interesting.

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:45

Well, getting back to the

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:46

idea of the core values.

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:47

I wouldn't mind

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:48

just mentioning a couple, because I think if people haven't gone

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:51

through the discipline of.

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:53

Putting down three core values, if you've never done this before, I think

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:56

it would be nice to like hone in.

Danielle Burnett: 00:14:58

What do you want the

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:00

purpose of your family to be?

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:01

What are those important values for your family?

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:03

Because this whole topic that we're talking about is

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:06

reminders.

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:06

So you have to

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:08

know what you

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:09

want to remind

Danielle Burnett: 00:15:10

about,

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:11

that's,

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:11

yeah, I would agree with that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:12

I think that transitions really well, those core values.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:15

So when you have the big purpose idea for the family, I think those core

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:18

values transition really well into the expectations, because we are saying

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:24

as a family, we have certain minimum.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:28

A minimum, threshold of expectations that also define, set the boundaries of what it

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:33

means to be in this crew, in this group.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:36

And I think that, I think the core values go a lot, into expectations

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:39

and can help you set expectations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:41

And they also filter over into holding, holding people accountable,

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:45

for certain things when they get out of bounds on those things.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:48

So I think they both.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:49

they hit on all three, the purpose, the expectations and accountability.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:53

I've always been, a very big fan of how you, handled our daughter.

Dallas Burnett: 00:15:58

So we have three daughters now they are 14, almost 13 and almost 11.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:05

So we, we've gotten at least into the teen stage.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:08

And but when they were little and I remember, and I was actually

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:11

sharing this on another show.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:13

On a different podcast, about two weeks ago, but when they were

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:15

little, I just remember, taking them all to the grocery store.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:18

And so many parents is like worst nightmare is taking their kids

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:22

to the grocery store because it's like, Oh my goodness.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:25

we've got this, three year old, a two year old, a newborn, and I'm

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:28

supposed to go get groceries, but you just manage that really well.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:31

And I think it's a great example of.

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:34

Just setting expectations because you had these three little, three little

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:38

babies that could have been all over the place, but you tell everyone how

Dallas Burnett: 00:16:41

you manage that environment of chaos.

Danielle Burnett: 00:16:45

Mhm.

Danielle Burnett: 00:16:46

Well, in all honesty, we've all been in the grocery store for women or men with

Danielle Burnett: 00:16:51

a and you've seen a child in a buggy and they're standing up and they're

Danielle Burnett: 00:16:54

falling out and then they're going to the emergency room because they have this like

Danielle Burnett: 00:16:57

traumatic like brain injury or something.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:00

And so that was always my biggest.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:02

fear and I think sometimes fear drives what we decide to do something about.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:06

So I always thought, okay, this cannot be chaos.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:09

certainly our house is most always chaos, like somebody's running around

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:13

and yelling and screaming, but going to the grocery store cannot look like

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:16

that because then I'm going to be in the emergency room with a head injury

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:19

or somebody's falling out of the buggy.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:21

I, on the way to the grocery store, I just gotten, or anywhere we

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:24

would go really for that matter.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:26

For years, I would say, Hey, while I've got y'all, we're buckled in and I

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:31

do, as a side note, I think that's the greatest time to spell out expectations

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:35

for young children, even gosh, as they start growing older, because they're

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:40

buckled in, they can't run anywhere.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:42

And if you don't have a show on, then you have their undivided attention.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:45

But I would always on the way to the grocery store to say, Hey, we're

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:48

going to go to the grocery store.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:49

And I would say, this is what we're going to do.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:51

We're going to walk in.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:52

We're going to hold hands.

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:54

We are going to smile at people if we see them, if they say, Hey, how are you?

Danielle Burnett: 00:17:59

you could say, I'm fine.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:00

Let's practice that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:01

And we would practice and say, Eva, how are you today?

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:04

Little girl.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:05

Oh, I'm fine.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:06

Thank you.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:06

How are you?

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:07

We would just be so silly and do all these little role plays.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:10

And they were like, Let me think, Everly was a baby, so she was in a car seat,

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:14

and Ellis was two, and Eva was three.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:16

And so, I literally thought, what am I doing?

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:19

and honestly, I think that it takes more energy to spell out all of those

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:23

expectations, and I think it, my grocery trip was obviously longer than if I had

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:29

just Got in a babysitter and went by myself, which is therapeutic and wonderful

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:33

to do, so I'm not saying don't do that because that's pretty great and get a

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:37

Starbucks while you're at it, while you're walking in the store, but I do think

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:41

that it made for a very easy transition for me to take them anywhere because

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:48

I would spell out, hey, we're going to the playground and if there's somebody

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:52

that's walking up at the same time as you.

Danielle Burnett: 00:18:55

Being kind looks like letting them go first, being selfish looks like

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:00

pushing them out of the way and going first yourself, and then so we would

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:03

talk about those kinds of things.

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:04

And I think that, being able to teach them what to expect and then remind them

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:11

what's important is such a great foundation on the pre

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:14

side of where you're going.

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:15

And then when you're on the way back home, they're going to, they're

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:19

going to start the conversation.

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:20

Then they're going to say, mama, yeah.

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:22

Boy or girl, push me down and I can say, Oh, how did that feel like?

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:25

how did you respond?

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:26

And it's

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:27

just this whole idea of constantly reminding them back

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:31

to the standard of what you want

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:34

in your expectations.

Danielle Burnett: 00:19:35

So anyways, I think that kind of sums up what you're asking about the

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:38

No, I think that's a great example and I love how you were able to

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:42

frame it up and not only, it wasn't about laying a rule down, you didn't go drill

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:46

Sergeant on them and I think this is a.

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:48

The tendency of us, when we get frustrated, especially if we've gone

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:52

to the grocery store and we've ridden there and the car is complete insanity

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:56

on the way there and you get there and you're already exhausted before

Dallas Burnett: 00:19:59

you even get into the grocery store.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:00

It's I'm going to tell you what you sit still and you'd be

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:02

quiet, it's, that's real life.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:04

but on the flip side, if you can take a minute pause, that is a

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:08

great example of how you can coach.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:10

Coach kids early on.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:13

And I think you did a fantastic job with that coaching the girls early on

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:16

in setting those, not only what your expectations on them, but what they

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:23

could expect when they get inside.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:25

So if you meet someone, you should expect them to smile at you and you to

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:30

smile back or talk to them or be polite.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:33

If somebody needs something, pick it up, whatever.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:34

So I think that, but just, it just gives their little.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:38

Tiny human brains, something to construct so that they're not caught off guard.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:43

and I think that's just really good.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:44

So I think that's, I think as it relates to reminders from our, from the

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:48

book lift, I think that's a fantastic example, especially as it relates to,

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:52

purpose and expectations, because you.

Dallas Burnett: 00:20:55

You just, it just, it helped them to know which way's up and what's

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:00

down and what's okay and what's not.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:02

And then to have a ride car ride home, I think is another example.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:07

you get a performance review, instead of waiting to the end of the year,

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:10

you get to wait till you get to the, end of the grocery store and you get

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:12

in the car and now you've got a 20 minute performance review that you can

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:15

have with your kids on the way home.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:16

And it's again, it's not military.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:18

You failed at this.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:20

it's a conversation.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:21

And, it's a conversation with your kids of what worked, what didn't

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:25

and what they saw and what they experienced and what did that line

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:27

up to the reality and expectations that you had laid out for them.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:31

So I think that's all very valuable for kids and raising the level

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:37

of expectations on your kids.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:38

A lot of times you'll see them rise to meet those

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:42

expectations more often than not.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:43

At least that's been.

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:45

my experience, would

Dallas Burnett: 00:21:45

you agree

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:46

hmm.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:47

Yeah.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:48

I so agree with that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:49

And I think that I could give a million examples of other times.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:54

I was telling you earlier about when we went to Disney World.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:56

We've only taken our girls one time.

Danielle Burnett: 00:21:58

When they were little, I think our youngest was five and then maybe

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:01

a seven and eight year old and

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:02

you know, at Disney World, you walk in.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:04

Everybody's

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:04

tired.

Dallas Burnett: 00:22:05

unbelievable.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:06

It's like they want the icy, but they

Dallas Burnett: 00:22:08

Oh my

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:08

bar.

Dallas Burnett: 00:22:10

It's the

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:10

So I was a little bit terrified.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:12

I had gone as a child a

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:13

couple of times.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:13

And I loved it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:14

I lived it up and I thought it was great, but I was a little bit concerned

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:18

with their ages being so close and then just all the things and being so tired.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:22

And I just really wanted us to have a great peaceful family time.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:25

And Leading up to that trip.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:27

I'll just real quickly say I try to think how can I give expectation of what

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:32

it will feel like when we get there to be surrounded with so many different

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:37

lights and cameras and shows and, drinks and, characters and all of that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:43

Like, how could I simulate that and give them expectation for that?

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:46

And then hopefully avoid the meltdown.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:48

And We would do art, every day and we would draw pictures of what it

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:52

would look like to be the most happy person at Disney World or happy child.

Danielle Burnett: 00:22:55

And then we would also have pictures that we draw when they were that age.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:00

And it would suggest a little child in the middle of all these, toys and characters

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:06

and I think, and they were crying.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:06

And so I remember us talking about why they would be crying.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:09

And so we talked about contentment and how.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:12

Oftentimes, our world tells us we need everything to be content, but in fact,

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:15

when you have too much of everything, you actually have a tummy ache, and

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:19

then you're actually tired because you didn't go to bed, and, boundaries are

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:22

really probably not my strong point to be talking about, to be honest with you,

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:26

if you know my personality, but in this case, I can speak to it because it's,

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:30

it Giving expectation of contentment.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:33

That was just a great way.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:34

We'd even brought in the art piece just to say, hey, you don't

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:36

need everything to be happy.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:38

We're just happy to be here.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:40

And I think I remember telling the girls we

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:41

weren't going to buy all the things that they have on the side

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:44

of the streets at Disney World everywhere for you to buy.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:46

We weren't going to buy any of that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:47

We were just going to go.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:48

And so I just had told him

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:50

we're not going to buy any of that because we already have stuffed animals.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:52

at home.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:52

we don't need any of that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:53

And so when we got there, it wasn't this, there

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:55

wasn't this constant barrage of Hey, can I buy that stuffed

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:58

animal?

Danielle Burnett: 00:23:58

Or, Hey, can I buy that glittery sparkly wand?

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:01

I remember, and this really cracked me up.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:03

And I know you remember the stouse, but we came to

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:04

the end of our week at Disney world and they had not asked for one

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:07

thing to buy, which was hilarious.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:09

And you said, did y'all, they have been

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:11

so good.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:12

I will buy them.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:13

Anything in this park and I said what we already talked about it You

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:16

aren't gonna want to buy them all

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:18

I was

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:18

and you said I will buy them anything And so

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:20

literally you went in the store whatever store that was it

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:23

I'll never forget you said girls pick out one thing anything and I

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:27

was like god They're gonna pick out like 100 like

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:30

cheetah or something

Dallas Burnett: 00:24:30

a little bit concerned with that

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:31

but anyways, you were just But you were so amazed,

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:35

and I think that the great thing is for us as parents to know is

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:40

parenting is the hardest, best thing.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:44

And it's not always a straight line, but if we can do our best on the pre

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:48

side to think through giving them great expectations and then reminding them,

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:54

which goes into that next letter of your peak analogy, Dallas, accountability.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:58

You're basically reminding them.

Danielle Burnett: 00:24:59

You're bringing them back.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:00

You're saying, Hey.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:01

What does it look like to be content?

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:02

You don't really need that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:03

What do you, what does it look like to be happy?

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:05

Is it eating 10 icies?

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:07

No, it's not.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:08

Okay.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:08

So let's just be content with the one sucker we have.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:11

I just think in parenting particularly, there's so many things that the world

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:15

tells us that we need and we just have to constantly rebuild the expectation,

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:21

which is the E that we're talking about in this whole acronym peak.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:24

And, and then moving on to the next letter, the A just being accountable

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:28

to, to keep us on track with that.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:30

But it's not easy.

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:31

It's just not easy, especially when go everywhere and

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:33

you see all the things

Danielle Burnett: 00:25:34

that the world

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:35

the bright and shiny objects.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:36

I think that goes for everybody, not just the kids.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:39

But I also think that you painted, a very interesting,

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:43

you shared a tool right there.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:44

And I don't want people to miss that as a reminder and a use of a reminder.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:49

And it is something that you, when we talk about, we've had.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:53

performance experts, mental performance coaches and things

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:56

on the last 10 percent before.

Dallas Burnett: 00:25:58

And one of the tools that athletes use quite a bit is the, this

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:03

technique called visualization.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:05

And if you hear of any high performing athlete, you'll hear them talk

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:09

through whether it is, playing a football game or a golf shot or

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:13

whether it's climbing Mount Everest.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:15

there's this thing that they are.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:17

Preparing mentally by going through the exact thing that they're about

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:22

to go through a step at a time.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:24

And it's, and it just makes it more real to them in that moment.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:29

I think your brain can't really tell the difference between something

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:32

that you're creating mentally.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:34

And then the real thing, a lot of times, because it's.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:36

It's processing those things the same way.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:37

That's why visualization is so powerful.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:40

And so when you're talking with the girls, I love the example where

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:42

you're sitting them down and you're saying, okay, let's draw pictures of

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:45

happy kids and why are they happy?

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:48

And they're visualizing all these things that they're doing at Disney world.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:52

AKA not buying a bunch of junk, from Mickey mouse on the sidewalk.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:56

Oh my gosh.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:57

Don't get me started.

Dallas Burnett: 00:26:58

And then, but they're happy.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:00

And these are the reasons that they're happy.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:01

They're visualizing that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:02

So their brain is automatically locked step into that environment.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:07

And then you're drawing a picture saying, okay, why are these kids

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:10

sad and they got all this stuff?

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:11

Why would a kid be sad if they're holding all these things, And then

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:14

you're painting that picture and saying, oh, because they just.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:18

It's a bottomless pit.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:19

They can't ever get enough.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:20

then they automatically have that visualization.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:23

So it's you're hardwiring that into their brain, reminding

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:26

them, this is what's important.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:29

This is what's not important.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:31

And then we're going to go and experience that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:33

And honestly, that was, I had forgotten until you just brought that up that I.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:38

I'm not one to go and buy more stuffed animals by any means, because we

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:41

have plenty of those in our home.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:43

But, in that particular moment, I really was, I was so proud.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:46

They exceeded my expectations and in that week of time at, at Disney World,

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:52

and so I just wanted to reward them for that, and so we celebrated them exceeding

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:56

our expectations, which is just another.

Dallas Burnett: 00:27:58

way that I could remind them of a good job and the good attitude that they've had.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:03

Because, when you're talking about, talking a lot about what we're

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:06

talking about in terms of family and raising children, we're really trying

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:09

to get into their heart and mind.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:11

And if I can shape that heart and that mindset.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:16

As they're younger, then it gets a lot easier as they get older to have

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:21

conversations, adult conversations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:23

if I don't, if I don't spend the time early on, then it obviously is

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:26

more difficult as they get older.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:27

so yeah, so thanks for doing that at Disney world and, in our family on that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:30

It was really good reminders.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:32

well, you were a part of it, too, but it was a great

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:34

example of what we're talking about.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:35

I want to share real quick, Dallas, I had pulled up on my phone, our, some of

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:39

our core values, because listeners might be like, gosh, I would love to do some

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:42

core values, but I don't know what to do.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:44

And so these are just some of the

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:45

things that we use, that you really wrote

Dallas Burnett: 00:28:48

And this was a long, this was a long time ago.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:50

But

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:51

maybe 10 years ago or more.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:52

Yeah, but no, I love them.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:54

I think they're great.

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:55

cheerful obedience, complete honesty, respect for self and others,

Danielle Burnett: 00:28:59

play to win, walk with purpose, have fun and be present, always.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:04

Do your best, pursue excellence, be a peacemaker, and then lastly, finish

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:08

what you start and finish strong.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:10

And you can word those, you can copy ours, you don't have to even do these.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:14

You might think that's too rigid and silly.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:17

But what I would say is even if you had

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:19

two or three things, these will serve as really great Reminders for

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:24

your family.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:26

when the girls were young, you would say, hey, pick a core value this week

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:30

and practice it, practice your cursive handwriting, or practice handwriting,

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:34

or practice spelling these words.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:35

And I think that, again, the visualization's important,

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:38

but just, reminders, it's not even anything rocket science.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:40

It's just just remind.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:45

And just hearing that and having it up on the wall somewhere to see and

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:48

knowing like these, this is what makes you a Burnett, this is we love, we

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:52

talked about music, we, we love music.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:53

That's some fun.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:54

We engage him, but this is the kind of people we want to strive to be.

Danielle Burnett: 00:29:57

And just reminding them of that, I think is super important.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:00

And then recently, I'll just say this, and you can talk about this Dallas.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:03

I think it's another idea of just reminding the family of the way that,

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:08

you want to be and be known, is doing a family meeting and so we struggle with

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:13

that because all our schedules as we have teenagers now are

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:15

crazy.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:15

It's I feel like a chauffeur.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:16

Everybody's going different directions.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:18

But one thing you've been wanting to do for a good long while now.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:22

Is to do a more consistent family meeting, spelling out the

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:25

expectations for the next week.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:26

who's going where?

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:27

What do we have going on?

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:28

And what games and, different things are we involved in for

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:31

the fall for the next week.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:32

But 1 thing that we did recently

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:35

is tie it back to the

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:37

core values.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:38

And, really, that was an idea from 1 of your sweet cousins.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:41

We love them so much.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:42

And if they're listening, they've been great supporters of you Dallas, but,

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:45

they recognize one core value that they had used during that week and to share

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:49

it with each other to get that core value in the minds of everybody even more.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:54

And when one way that you had asked our family this week.

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:57

I'm going to you ask the girls,

Danielle Burnett: 00:30:59

Hey, what core value do you want to focus on this week?

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:01

And so

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:01

already.

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:03

I've heard the girls being like, no, Everly, you said you

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:06

were going to be a peacemaker.

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:07

Where's that?

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:10

And then she's

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:11

like, Oh, yeah, I

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:12

It gets real.

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:13

Did you

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:13

have any, do you guys?

Danielle Burnett: 00:31:15

Do you have anything to

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:16

No, I do.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:17

I think that's a good point.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:18

And I think that again, we, if you have a family, if you're leading a family, then

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:25

the biggest thing is it is that great families are not created by accident.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:33

and what I mean by great is a relative term, but what I would say is that you

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:37

can substitute anything in that productive families, happy families, tight knit

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:42

families, whatever, all that, none of that you could put in any word you want.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:46

It's not created by accident.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:47

It's intentional.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:48

And so you.

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:50

if you have a family, if you're leading a family, what I would encourage you

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:53

to do is to put a stake in, put a stake in the ground into what you actually

Dallas Burnett: 00:31:58

are going to be intentional about.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:01

And that's really the reason that I wrote those core values years ago.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:04

It was like, I just need something.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:06

anything's better than nothing because at least, because it, if you have no values,

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:09

then what are you have no definition?

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:10

You have nothing that makes you.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:12

So these core values hopefully provide some type of structure to

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:16

say, this is how we define, how we are as people and as a family unit.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:21

And so I would say, as it goes to them growing up, yes, there were times

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:26

that they wrote those core values for, practicing their handwriting.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:28

There was other times they wrote it because they absolutely.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:31

did not meet expectations and they had to be held accountable for

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:36

that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:36

And

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:37

it's yes, you are going to fill this paper up with this core value.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:40

And we're going to drill this in, we're going to get this right.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:42

so they probably have a love hate relationship with our core values, but I

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:46

think now as they've gotten older, it's not like writing them, in a, notebook

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:50

as much as it is just bringing it to the forefront of their mind and really giving

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:53

them something to strive for themselves.

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:55

It's I want them to start coming up with what does walk with purpose

Dallas Burnett: 00:32:58

look like for you as you are playing soccer or playing tennis, or you're

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:02

going into schools or whatever, you don't go into youth group, whatever.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:05

What does that look like to you?

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:07

You got to figure that out.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:08

Not me.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:08

You need to figure that out.

Dallas Burnett: 00:33:09

And so,

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:11

Yeah, I love it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:13

It's one of the greatest things for our family.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:15

And I remember last year, Eva, our oldest went to camp in a quick story.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:21

It cracked me up.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:22

I was laughing so hard in my mind as I picked her up from camp and on the

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:25

way home, I hadn't seen her for a week.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:27

But one of the first things that she told me was that she was

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:30

involved in some kind of game.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:31

I basically gathered that her team quit and she said, mom, they didn't finish what

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:37

they started and finish strong.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:38

And it was like, those words just came out of her mouth.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:41

And I just laughed in my mind.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:43

I didn't want to laugh at her, but like thinking it bothered her so much that

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:47

they quit and didn't even though they weren't going to win the game, they

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:50

didn't it was like a scavenger hunt or something silly they didn't finish.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:54

And

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:54

that bothered her because she's that's

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:55

what you do.

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:56

And I thought, wow, they, these core values, there's

Danielle Burnett: 00:33:59

really something deeper to it.

Danielle Burnett: 00:34:00

Like it defines.

Danielle Burnett: 00:34:02

It defines what's

Danielle Burnett: 00:34:03

The expectation.

Danielle Burnett: 00:34:04

that's what we're talking

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:05

it just is a way to say what's important.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:07

And what we say is these core values are very important and they're so important

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:11

that we're going to be consistent in how we talk about them, how we live

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:14

them out, how we strive to achieve them.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:16

and I think that's.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:17

that's a great example.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:18

I forgot about that, but it's so true.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:19

She was so bothered by that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:21

It's so funny now that you bring that up, but I think that's, I think

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:24

that's really important and here's what I would also say, and we'll

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:26

round it out with the last one.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:28

So we've talked a little bit about.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:30

We've talked about how we need a purpose as a family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:32

What does that look like?

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:33

We've talked about, how we can raise the expectations of our family and our kids

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:37

and ourselves and how important that is and how we need to be intentional and

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:42

how we have to have something to hold each other accountable by to give us

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:46

that definition that we can move forward.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:48

And the last thing is, I would say is that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:50

So many times people get overwhelmed when you get into, talking about raising

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:54

family and kids, and there's just so many different books out there on the subject

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:57

and so many different talking heads on it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:34:59

You just get overwhelmed.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:01

And I would say that's why we put the last letter in there on

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:04

peak is keep it simple is that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:06

It's better to do a little something really well consistently than try to

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:11

eat the elephant in one bite, try to do everything that you hear online or

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:15

everything that you read in books and try to implement all that at once.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:18

So what I would say is one of the things that we have to do is make sure that

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:23

we, A, don't overwhelm our kids or ourselves because it's just easy to do.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:28

We've got so much coming at us anyway, and B, we need to, whatever it is.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:33

We need to keep it simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:34

We just need to keep it simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:35

If you have a rule, make it a very clear rule.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:39

our rules was do not lie.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:41

it's pretty straightforward.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:42

Like you can't don't lie.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:44

Do if you're going to not, if you're going to do anything, don't lie.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:47

And, and so we have, these core values, but we had a whole lot more

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:52

do this versus don't do, And I think that one of the things that even

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:55

with the core values, they're all about, three or four or five words.

Dallas Burnett: 00:35:59

And the girls could probably recite them off the back of their hand.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:02

I probably wouldn't even have eight.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:03

Now, if I went and rewrote that list, I might have less, but, but yeah,

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:06

you just want to keep it simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:07

And so if you can be simple and consistent, I think that's better than

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:12

trying to implement every idea that you run across on raising your kids.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:16

No.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:18

Danielle Burnett: generalizable to the workplace.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:20

you can see it sometimes more easily in your workplace.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:23

you wouldn't go and create a hundred rules for your team at work and

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:27

then expect them to follow them.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:29

We have to take that and drill it back down to the family unit and say,

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:33

okay, how can we be successful here?

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:36

What are some things that we want to be and remind our family that we,

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:40

that of who we are and just keep it

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:42

simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:42

I think that is, that's, that is so important to

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:44

keep it

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:45

so simple.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:46

yeah.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:46

And it goes back to even this example, you shared about our family meetings.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:49

Now we keep the family meeting short.

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:51

And it's something as simple as just reminding each other of a core value

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:55

that we want to get better at or where we are in a goal that we've set

Dallas Burnett: 00:36:59

or what our schedule for the week is just so that we know who's on first.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:02

Cause everybody's going in so many different directions now.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:04

And so just having that, just a moment.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:08

which we'll get into, later and another section routine of that

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:11

reflection and planning, is so helpful.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:14

So we'll talk about some other things from Lyft as it relates

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:17

to family down the road.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:18

Some, we've got a lot of great, podcasts coming up and this spring.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:23

And so we've got some really great guests that we want to share with everybody.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:26

But, Danielle, do you have anything else you want to share about

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:29

Lyft as it relates to the family?

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:30

I appreciate your time on the show today.

Danielle Burnett: 00:37:33

Well, I think we're gonna be to be continued because you

Danielle Burnett: 00:37:35

have two more sections in the book that I think are really relevant

Danielle Burnett: 00:37:38

to the family and how, just small little things that we can implement

Danielle Burnett: 00:37:42

Make our families more successful and really

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:44

Yeah, we'll have to see how this one goes.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:46

if this one goes over well, maybe we'll do those sooner than later.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:49

But, I think those sections will be very good as it relates to, as

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:52

it relates to creating, shaping.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:55

Or strengthening the culture of your family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:37:57

And so that's, that's something that Lyft is really good at doing for work,

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:01

but you can take those concepts and apply them directly to your family.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:04

And if you've waited this far in the episode, I might as well tell you We've

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:09

got a something cool that's coming out.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:11

Lyft is actually now on audio book.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:14

if you just say, I can't read, I just, Hey, even if it's a fable

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:17

and it's a short, so I can't do it.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:18

I listened to all mine.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:20

Congratulations.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:20

We got Lyft on audio book.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:21

And so we are going to be sharing soon a link, for you to be able

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:26

to listeners the last 10 percent to be able to download that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:29

And we actually have a few that will be able to download it for free.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:32

So if you're one of the first people to do that, we'll put a.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:36

An ad or commercial on this episode that will tell you more about that.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:39

But anyway, if, whether or not that ad is going on, or you listen to

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:42

this down the road, Lyft is now available on audio book and you

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:46

can find that on Amazon or Audible.

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:48

thank you again, Danielle, for being on the show today and we appreciate

Dallas Burnett: 00:38:51

it and look forward to having another conversation about Lyft and family soon.